Who's On Top?
by Katie.Madison
Summary: (Post-War/Epilogue) Everyone in the ninja world decides to put aside their differences, come together, and finally get a consensus about the multi-faceted Sasuke-X-Naruto relationship! It's really too bad that the boys aren't even together... Or are they? SasuXNaruXSasu
1. The Gay Icons of Konoha

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Naruto or any part of its affiliated franchises._

_**A/N:**__ Hello, all of you lovelies! I am infinitely sorry for my ridiculously long fan-fiction-hiatus! Recently, however, I have gotten back into the mood and have been re-reading and writing out my old stories. Soon, I shall have them all updated and revived! On a more relevant note, this story will be relatively short (10,000) and full of crude humor, soft romance and fluff. Lord only knows what's going on in the manga but you can consider this a sort of SN alternative-universe epilogue._

_- Love, K.M._

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><p><strong><span>Who's On Top?<span>**

"Thanks for the reports, you two," said Iruka, smiling as he received Sasuke and Naruto's mission report scrolls at the commission desk. He skimmed through the contents of Sasuke's neat handwriting, nodding at the thoroughness of their performance. "Always exceptional work with you two together... but that's to be _expected_, I guess..." he commented with a wink, chuckling to himself as he placed the scroll in its proper pile and checked off something on his master list. "As always, payment will arrive by the week's end."

Sasuke and Naruto both exchanged glances.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, sensei?!" demanded Naruto, slamming his hand on the desk.

Iruka frowned. "Do you really need ramen money that badly, Naruto? I told you that you needed to manage your finances better!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "No. He meant the 'exceptional work with you two' part."

Iruka smiled so wide his eyes closed. "Come off of it, boys, I know you too well. Sasuke, you don't have to lie to me about your... _you know._"

"Our what?" Naruto insisted, leaning forward so that his face was only a few inches from the chunin.

"Your relationship!" said Iruka, shifting to prop his chin on his palm, as though their relationship was, in fact, the most obvious thing in the world.

"WHAT?!" Naruto screeched, reeling back from Iruka as though he had been hit. Sasuke opted to growl the same word as menacingly as he possible could, moving around to join the blonde in glaring at Iruka.

"Don't be that way, boys! Konoha's very accepting! And just about everyone ships – I mean, _supports your relationship,_" said Iruka, holding his hands up in a sign of innocence.

Naruto scowled. "Well, Sasuke here might be gay but I most certainly am not gay. I like girls! _With tits_! I trained with Jiraiya for three years, sensei! And even if I was gay, why in the name of the Sage of The Six Paths would I want to be with this sex-less, Uchiha she-man?"

Sasuke managed to spare Naruto a brief exasperated look before glaring back at Iruka. "Ignore him," he said sternly, "Who started this insane rumour?"

Iruka smiled from ear-to-ear. "Nobody started it, Sasuke. It was more of a general acceptance of a known fact."

Sasuke smiled back mirthlessly, managing to look both insane and attractive. "That would be _heart-warming_, if it weren't for the fact that we aren't_ in_ a relationship. Now, I'm going to ask you again - who is responsible for spreading this ridiculous bullshit?"

"Yeah!"

"Boys! Calm down-"

"So it's official, huh?" Sakura interrupted suddenly. The pair were so caught up with fuming at Iruka that they completely missed the arrival of their teammate and Hinata Hyuuga, who were now congregated behind the two boys.

"Sakura? Hinata? What's official?" asked Naruto, scratching the back of his head.

"Us, you idiot!" growled Sasuke, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Oh yeah! Us. Wait, what?" asked Naruto again.

Before anyone could answer him however, Hinata began crying, uselessly trying to hide away her tears beneath the sleeve of her jacket. "Oh Naruto," she sniffled. "I-I just want you to be h-happy. You've done so much for m-me and the village and I-I HOPE THAT SASUKE KEEPS YOU HAPPY, OKAY? "

With that, she broke out into quiet sobs, slowly retreating to one of the chairs kept by the water-cooler.

Naruto looked at Sasuke, then Sakura, then Hinata and then at his own two hands before deciding that the most appropriate reaction to the situation was to yell, "I'M CONFUSED AS HELL. BELIEVE IT."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and addressed the weeping girl. "This isn't what it sounds like," he insisted.

"Oh really, Sasuke? Because I feel like this is _exactly_ what it looks like," interjected Sakura. The medic ninja looked so utterly done Sasuke, that he was unable to protest. With her hands on her hips she examined the two boys before her. "I love you both a lot so I'll support whatever you do, but I can't help but think this is ridiculous... Wasn't Naruto always in love with me? And wasn't Sasuke... always not... in love with anybody? You know what though? Whatever, as long as Naruto doesn't come limping to Team Seven meetings, I don't really care."

With a flip of her pink hair, she handed her and Hinata's scroll in, nodded to the academy sensei and sauntered out - vigorously nodding Hyuuga heiress in tow.

"Wh-Why would I be limping?" asked Naruto, staring wide-eyed at the Uchiha.

"Tch. Idiot," he replied, turning away so the blonde couldn't see his blush.

"Is it cause Sakura's going to beat me up because I stole you away from her?! I don't even like you! She can have you, but I thought she got over you a long time ago! She's got horrible taste in men anyway."

"Oh Naruto, you won't be limping because of Sakura's jealous fists. You'll be limping because Sasuke's going to pound your ass into the mattress so hard you'll forget your own name!" giggled a very gleeful Kakashi leaning against the door-frame.

"KAKASHI!"

"ERO-SENSEI!"

"Sorry, boys, but everyone know it's true!"

"Alright, that's _it_! I'm going to kill the person who started this rumour!"

"Bastard! Why are you even offended? Everyone thinks you top in our pretend-relationship - which would obviously never be the case in real life if we actually got together."

"Naruto, don't focus on the parts that don't matter."

"Of course it matters! Here I am, next-in-line for Hokage, the epitome of macho, heterosexual manliness and people still think your girly ass could top mine."

"...Not only did you cry during _The Notebook_, which was really just a bunch of sad tropes, and _A Walk To Remember,_ which was a study of bad acting, you-"

"Well, that sensitivity just adds to the gentle, chibi-seme vibe, Sasuke," interjected a saccharine voice behind them. Both guys turned around in time to see Iruka smile sweetly at them.

"Excuse me?" ventured Sasuke, not entirely sure what the words 'chibi' or 'seme' meant,.

"Oh my gosh! You're so tsundere, Sasuke! I love it - just like the typical bishie-uke" and the chunin continued gushing in what appeared to be an unknown language.

"Bishie-uke?" tried Naruto, glancing over at Sasuke and trying to see if he could deduce what those words meant by staring at his friend's features.

"Oh hell no, Naruto would_ totally_ be uke, he's so cute and eager and he would let Sasuke do whatever he wanted to him because he just loves to please his Ice Prince seme. And obviously Sasuke can only truly connect to his inner feelings when he's with his precious little blond boyfriend," countered Kakashi as he placed one hand on his hip and the other on his chin, nodding furiously.

"Eh? EH? Ice Prince seme? Chibi seme? Bishi uke? What?!" cried Naruto, clutching his head in his hands and glaring at the two distracted senseis.

"... Is this what it feels like to be Naruto in math class?" wondered Sasuke aloud, as he searched his memory for any previous usage of those words.

"Oh, get the fuck out, Sasuke!"

"Well it's true, idiot!... But, in all seriousness though, I have no idea what is going on."

"Same."

In the few seconds their banter had occupied, several other ninja around the mission desk had joined the senseis' conversation and were adding their own opinions.

"Obviously," said Anko, rolling her eyes, "Naruto would top. He'd be the one to take the initiative because the Uchiha's frigid."

"Yeah, but as soon as he got in the mood," argued Genma, "Sasuke would definitely take control and Naruto would love all the attention since he's such an attention whore!"

"FRIGID?"

"ATTENTION WHORE?"

"Who the hell are you even? Do you know anything about us?" hissed Sasuke as Naruto nodded emphatically alongside him. "We've barely ever spoken to you at all!"

"Well, you guys kind of are gay icons these days," Iruka explained happily while pointedly ignoring Kakashi (who was making a very emotional speech about how semes can't have big, expressive eyes like Naruto).

The two boys whipped around. "Gay icons?"

"That doesn't matter!" boomed Tsunade making a very grand entrance through the front doors with Shizune and Tonton behind her, cowering behind the thrown open doors. "What matters is who tops in your hypothetical relationship. I put all out-going missions on hold until we figure this shit out."

"Here here!" cried the ninja, pulling out notebooks and ball point pens to begin writing out their arguments for their seme of choice."

Naruto's mouth hung agape and Sasuke tried twice to unsuccessfully dispel a genjutsu that he hoped he was under.

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><p><em><strong>AN: **__It's a bit crack-y, yeah? Don't worry, it'll mellow out soon enough but (hopefully) retain the humor. _

_So, what did you think of it? Leave me your thoughts!_

_Love, K.M._

_**UPDATE: **This chapter has been edited!_


	2. The Lesbian Librarian

_**A/N:** I have procrastination issues. And issues with indecision, I re-wrote this chapter like three times before I was okay with it. I'm still not okay with it actually. *sighs* I'm probably being a bit over-dramatic. Anyways, __I hope you like enjoy it very much! Enormous shout-out to all of my reviewers and those who favourited/followed the story - your support makes me feel all tingly inside._

_Love, K.M._

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><p><strong><span>Who's On Top?<span>**

With the unparalleled speed and determination of ninjas defending their ninja way, the jonins and chunins took off in random directions, leaving Naruto and Sasuke standing completely dumbstruck in the center of the mission hall.

Sasuke moaned low in his throat and pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering when his life had switched from being a deeply-disturbing, existentialist tragedy, to an equally-disturbing, senseless romantic comedy.

It took Naruto a few more seconds to finally recover from his shock and remove his jaw from the floor - however, unlike his Uchiha counterpart, Naruto was never one for brooding over deep thoughts within himself. He shook his head rapidly to clear it a bit and said, "We aren't even in a relationship so why is anyone even thinking about this weird stuff. Everyone in this village is crazy! Like, we got the whole left wing to rebuild and the Water Country's in shambles but our top priority is figuring out who's bits go in who's butt."

"Oh, shut up!" hissed Sasuke, embarrassment tightening his voice, as he turned to face away from his friend.

Naruto was just about to make a retort when he noticed that the Uchiha had shoved his hands down his trouser pockets and was pretending to be distracted by some pebble on the floor to avoid meeting Naruto's eyes. And Naruto was no Uchiha or Hyuuga or whatever, but he was pretty sure he could see the brunet blushing lightly.

As if on cue, Naruto could feel face heating up too. Did he really just say 'who's bits go in who's butt'?

There were a few moments of heavy silence as both parties said nothing.

At the forty-five second mark, however, Naruto cleared his throat so awkwardly that Sasuke had to look up from his feet just to glare at him. The blonde gave an innocent close-eyed, teeth-baring grin.

"Are you still taking me out for ramen?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his friend's single-mindedness but nodded nonetheless. "Fine,' he said, opening the door for his companion, 'So long as we stop for real food afterwards.'

"Ramen!" cried Naruto, sidling up to Sasuke's side and wrapping himself quite intimately around his left arm. "Let's go!"

Sasuke was beginning to see why people might speculate about the two of them.

Still, he was never one to care for appearances, and he had gotten used to the dobe's physicality over the years, so he simple strolled out of the hall, half-listening to his companion's ramblings.

"But in all honesty though," Naruto said in a suddenly serious voice as they turned onto the main road, "We should hit the library or something to look up what 'uke' and 'seme' mean."

"Hn. Not a half-bad idea."

...

On the other side of town, inside the therapy ward of the Konoha General Hospital, Sakura, Ino and Hinata found themselves in a rather... 'heated' discussion.

Well, rather a giggling Ino was laying lavender in each of the room's vases to encourage the sleeping patients to remain sleeping, while Hinata and Sakura whisper-screamed at each other from across the room.

"Hinata, I know you like how sensitive Naruto is, and I think he's sweet too, but there is just no way that Sasuke would let some weeping, tender guy be his seme! He would definitely take charge. Sasuke would do him hard and sensuous to satisfy Naruto's emotional sides and insecurities. He'd take him from the back too, making Naruto bite his pillow hard as he held him down and just possessed him completely, nails digging into his hips. _Ohh. _Naruto's always felt so lonely, he'd love for Sasuke to bite and mark up his neck, mark him as _his..._ And the _things_ Sasuke would whisper into Naruto's ear - he's got such a gorgeous voice and such a vulgar tongue when he wants to - Just dirty talk and rough sex, he could bring him off without a single touch to his cock. Gods, _yes. _That's obviously how it would go down!"

"But Sakura, you've forgotten how confident Naruto's become and how Sasuke has still not fully come to terms with himself yet. You can see it in his disconnected eyes, and how he still sighs about missing Itachi! He needs someone to praise and love him and since he's so proud and stoic in his public life, he would totally submit to Naruto in his personal life. Let him take control and give what he really wants but would never admit. Naruto would just worship his body and tell him he's perfect too. And can you just imagine the foreplay? _Mmm_, Naruto would prep him so gently with his fingers and his tongue, making sure that's he's not hurt, running his tan hands all over Sasuke's pale, flushed body to make him squirm and want. Sasuke would have such a beautiful flush and he'd just beg for it by the end. Oh, _Please!_"

Ino was almost panting by the time she finally finished placing the flowers in their vases. She just barely managed to reign herself in and covered her blush with her long bangs. Who knew these kunoichi had such _imaginations? _The blonde grinned happily - they weren't even full-fledged fangirls yet!

She began laughing fully as the girls argued some more, until the volume of her sounds drew the other two girls' attention. Although they were beyond aroused and completely distracted, they managed to shoot the blonde puzzled looks as she hiccupped and stuttered. "Oh ladies," she managed finally, "There's no need to fight when we have _Kage Bunshins, _and roleplay!"

The puzzled looks persisted so Ino elaborated.

By the end of her explanation, Hinata looked mildly scandalized by the thought of using ninjutsu for sexual pleasure, but both she and Sakura followed Ino as she led them to her secret stash of yaoi hidden under the false bottom of her underwear drawer.

That night, Sakura and Hinata were both inducted into the Konoha Yaoi Association (raising the total number of members to a resounding three) and were thinking thoughts that they had never thought before.

Nevertheless, however, as much as Ino tried to make the girls see the beauty of switching, topping-from-the-bottom and clone threesomes - each lady held their respective belief about which boy would top.

"Sasuke's jaw is too slender and his hair is too stylized. Also his skin is just begging to be ravished," mused Hinata, the greater part of her mind occupied in a yaoi fantasy.

"Naruto's eyes are too emotive and his lashes are too thick. He's too short and he pouts too much," replied Sakura, more out of obligation than anything at this point as she was concentrating too hard on a high school boy's love manga she was reading.

"Newbs," said Ino, with a roll of her eyes.

...

Several bowls of ramen, two grocery bags full of rice, vegetables and assorted healthy stuff later, Sasuke and Naruto found themselves standing in front of the Konoha Library. With a bone-deep sigh, Sasuke led the two of them towards the back of the first floor where the librarians stood behind their check-out desks.

Moving to stand directly in front of a young female librarian, Naruto got straight down to business. "Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Can I get a book, hopefully one that's less than 100 pages if you don't mind, on 'ukes' -_OOMPH"_

"Ukraine! He's talking about Ukraine! Oh Naruto, that's not the proper abbreviation for Ukraine anyhow... hehehe...What he actually means is, would you mind pointing us in the right direction for contemporary fiction novels... from Ukraine...?"

Mentally strangling himself for coming up with the worst explanation in the whole world, Sasuke aimed his most attractive grin at the young librarian and hoped she wouldn't ask them anything.

However, luck was not in Sasuke's favour.

The librarian smirked right back and said, "You're super hot and all, but I'm a lesbian, baby. Not really interested... And not likely to judge, anyway. Still, since I'm obligated to answer your questions, I'll say that you can find 'Ukranian contemporary fiction novels' on floor 5, by the water coolers, specifically Aisle 521. Although, you might be more interested in the fictional and non-fictional books about homosexual culture in Aisle 356 on the third floor. My recommendation for you would be '_An Analysis of Gay Culture: The Basics' _but blue eyes might enjoy an autobiography like, _'The Quarterback Chronicles.'_

"Okay, " Naruto shrugged, dragging a very shame-faced Uchiha up the stairs to the third floor. He only caught on to the other's embarrassment when the librarian called, "Unfortunately, babe, there's no aisle here for _LUBE!"_

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><p><em><strong>AN:** Yaoi-fangirl!Ino is like, my most favorite thing ever, I feature her in a lot of my fics! _

_Also, just fyi, I like to try include (and not bash on) many of our lovely ladies even though I write a lot of SasukeXNaruto and other boyXboy pairings (I mean, why bash on Sakura when there's creeps like Orochimaru to insult?) So, yeah, you'll certainly see them around in a mostly positive light._

_Lol, I hope this chapter brought a smile to your face! Please leave a review with your thoughts/comments/questions. __Or you can drop a favourite/follow if you liked it but didn't REALLY like, or don't know what to say, hate Naruto AND Sasuke and got lost on this website but found this piece funny or are a bit lazy (I feel you)._

_Love, K.M._

**_UPDATE:_**_ This chapter has been edited!_


	3. The Dictionary

_**A/N: **I have no excuses for updating this late - like, I'm not even that great of a student, to be honest, what was I doing with all my time? Anyways, I offer you SasuXNaruXSasu fluff in return for your continued readership._

_Love, K.M._

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><p><span><strong>Who's On Top?<strong>

"Ah, God bless us lesbians," whispered the librarian, as she checked out a ninja girl with bright red hair and a barely zipped-up lilac shirt near the medical reference section, "And God bless them gay boys. Amen."

Konohamaru, upon hearing these whisperings, decided that today was not the day to check out the complete DVD set of _Boys Over Flowers. _He backed his way out of the building quickly, but not before he heard his ex-boss's voice drift down from many floors above.

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><p>"B-But Sasuke, I don't think I can bend like that!" yelped Naruto, pointing at to the centerfold of the giant non-fiction book that the Sharingan user was leafing through. It depicted a slender man bent straight over the arm of a fancy purple velvet armchair with his arms pinned to his lower back by another man not in the frame. He wore nothing but smudged black eyeliner and was giving the camera a hungry look.<p>

"I would never ask you to bend in that way, anyway, stupid," Sasuke replied automatically, instinctively trying to put down the blond.

"Yeah, it looks a bit uncomfortable," commented the blonde, as usual, missing the subtle slight.

It took them both a good ten seconds (during which he replaced the book on its designated shelf) to contextually realize what they had just said.

"Or any other way!" Sasuke blurted out, balling his hands into fists by his sides in defense.

"Well even if you asked, I wouldn't!" Naruto blurted right back, waving his hands in a vaguely negative gesture.

The Uchiha glared at Naruto suspiciously, eyes squinting narrower and narrower, while the blond's own eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"NE, WHY DON'T WE JUST READ THIS, UHHHH, DICTIONARY?" cried Naruto, breaking the tension by turning 180 degrees and selecting a random book and shoving it in Sasuke's hands.

"This isn't a dictionary! It says 'Yaoi' on it! It's also a manga!" yelled Sasuke.

He was not really sure why he was yelling, but yelling at the blond was a far better option, in his opinion, than examining the weird constriction that appeared in his chest when Naruto's fingers touched his own.

Was this just some hormonal thing? He got through hearing Karin's extremely vocal, weekly masturbation sessions in the room next door and felt nothing! Now Naruto grazes his fingers, light as a moth, and he starts 'feeling' things. The dobe's got some nerve eliciting such responses, how dare he!?

"Yaoi could mean 'Dictionary' in gay for all you know! And my old genjutsu manual was a graphic novel, I'll have you know," Naruto retorted, inwardly acknowledging that he sounded like a real idiot, (although he made sure his voice sounded as confident as possible). He wasn't really focusing on his words, anyway, he really wanted to touch Sasuke.

No, punch Sasuke.

Lightly, with his fingers, on his fingers?

Argh! He wanted to punch Sasuke for making him not want to punch Sasuke! What did he do, shoot an electric impulse down his fingers when they brushed together that made him feel... feelings? Could he even do that? Was that even a possible thing? Should he touch him again and see?

"Naruto, 'gay' isn't a whole other language, it's just a sub-culture. And your manga-manual is probably the reason why you can't tell your arse from your nose once you're stuck in an illusion!" tried Sasuke, glaring at Naruto's headband, once again trying to continue their fight.

"...Nuh-uh!" said Naruto, not even looking at Sasuke anymore as he examined his own treacherous hand that was creeping closer and closer to him.

How bad could a chidori through the chest be anyway?

"Oh what the fuck?!" said Sasuke, growing tired of this dumb (even by their standards) one-sided argument. He tucked the stupid manga under his left arm, and held onto Naruto's outstretched hand with his other.

He led them both to a sofa and sat down, Naruto following blindly, staring at Sasuke's blue-black hair. He was doing the electric thing again, but he didn't even look like he knew that he was doing it!

"Let's just read this damn... whatever it is..." muttered Sasuke.

Propping the novel up in between their two laps, the boys began reading Naruto's selection, each holding onto the edge of their novel's respective side. They tried really hard not to think about whether or not their interior hands were currently not linked together.

The book wasn't a dictionary, (obviously) but Sasuke wasn't sure if it was actually more informational than any dictionary could have been.

They left the library without checking out a single item. They didn't speak to each other on the way back, nor did they say anything when Sasuke slept on Naruto's couch for the third night in a row.

Naruto didn't have any dreams and slept like a log as usual, while Sasuke had a dream that he was back at the academy and the librarian girl had handed him a quiz of gay terminology. He had copied all the answers of off Naruto who ended up received a C+.

He woke up right before he received his own.

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><p>Had someone told Mikoto Uchiha that she would one day see the Fourth Hokage, aim a rasengan at her eldest son with a killing intent, she would have laughed. No, no, Itachi loved the Hokages and the Hokages loved him. Why would any Hokage attack the boy who loved the Konoha village more than <em>anything<em> in the whole wide world?

Well, except maybe Sasuke.

Oh.

"Face it, Hokage-sama," spirit-Itachi sing-songed, as he artfully dodged a barrage of Minato's shuriken, "The facts are laid out in front of you~"

The normally calm man scowled. "There is no way, and I mean absolutely no way in the whole entire world, that your girly little brother could top my handsome, powerful confident young man. And I mean _no way!_"

"Hokage-sama, does it really matter all that much anyway? I mean, I understand that certain people commented on the feminine visage of your younger self but there is no need to project such insecurities on your own son. Whoops!~"

Itachi almost didn't swerve fast enough to dodge that last one.

But then again.

It's not like it mattered at this point, anyhow.

"Curse you, Itachi!" cried the Fourth, clutching his blonde hair in frustration. Maybe if he were more manly, then Naruto wouldn't have to be topped by the emotionally-stunted Uchiha? "No," he cried, shaking his head side to side, but it was too late - the idea had taken root.

Itachi laughed softly. Although the fourth had some great points in favour of NARUsasu, they were no match for the late twenty year old's manipulation tactics. Secretly though, he too thought that Naruto would top in their relationship - he was only defending Sasuke because he was his brother.

As if his Otouto would ever be physical enough to start anything. The boy didn't even realize that he was sexually attractive until his late teens; when was he going to start seeing _himself_ in a sexual way, his thirties? Naruto, on the other hand, wouldn't need time to sort himself out like that; he would seize and act - wouldn't even stop till Otouto passed out or smacked him. Oh yes.

Itachi was just being a little shit.

What? He was only _twenty_ for God's sakes - and he hadn't even really 'lived out' his teenage years as a normal individual - he was _supposed _to be insolent sometimes and it's not like he _really_ upset anyone with his antics.

"I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun! Please forgive your old man! I was just joking when I apologized for being late to the Final Battle but I am really seriously sorry now!"

Or not.

Shrugging, the young man floated away and went to go find Shisui.

"God bless your child, Mikoto, God bless him," giggled Kushina Uzumaki as she sat atop a white cloud with her friend. "Say, Fugaku," she called suddenly to the spirit resting face-down on a cloud some meters above them. "What do you think of all of this?"

"Hm?" The ex-clan head flipped onto his back and pondered breifly. "I think," he started gravely, "That I would rather literally eat a bag of rocks, as opposed to think about my son's sex life."

Kushina pouted, Mikoto looked shocked and Fugaku winced. This Uzumaki woman was really something.

"If no bag of rocks were available, however, I would venture a guess that my son would take a more dominant role in their relationship. Just based on the rhythm their interactions follow. Naruto is a gifted leader of the people, however Sasuke gives him logic and sense that Naruto follows in his personal life. That is all.'

With that, he flipped back onto his stomach and floated away from the annoying wives. He too went to go find his ex-clans-members.

It was only after the man had floated a good hundred metres away that Kushina began giggling again. "Kushina, please," Mikoto tried, "You don't have to tell me about how you think Naruto will t-"

Kushina's giggling erupted into full blown laughter. "Oh no, Mikoto, oh no. You see, I fully believe that Sasuke will 'take the wheel' in the bedroom. It would definitely be more logical and natural for them. I think Sasuke would make my little boy feel _desirable_, I mean Sasuke is the most desirable man ever!... Of this time period, I mean (Is Minato even listening?) Anyways... Naruto's always wanted Sasuke's everything, _to be_ Sasuke's everything - finally being the center of his attention like that would be perfect! They could make eye contact all the way through their climaxes and Sasuke could spoon him around afterwards. Naruto would love that! Somebody needs to spoon Naruto!"

Mikoto heard a distant wailing in the background.

"Oh great, not only is Naruto going to be topped, he's also going to be the _little _spoon? Why? WHY?"

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><p><em><strong>AN:** If you actually read through and enjoyed this late pile of crap, then let me know with a quick review :) I'll be better with updates, I promise! _

_Love, K.M._

_**UPDATE: **This chapter has been edited!  
><em>


	4. Attack on Heterosexuality

_**A/N:** An update in less than one week? Is this real life? (Yes, yes it is. Praise me~)_

**Who's On Top?**

* * *

><p>Naruto woke with a start and quickly began hyperventilating. Was that just?!... Did he just!?... "D-Dad?" he ventured out quietly, squinting in the darkness. He could have <em>sworn <em>he had heard his own father's voice just there!

"No, dobe. Just me," mumbled Sasuke from the floor beside Naruto's bed.

"O-Oh. Okay then. I thought I..." Naruto shook his head side to side vigorously to clear his head and then sighed. "Well, whatever..." he breathed out softly, "What are you doing here anyways?"

"Hn. It was cold in the living room so I came here to sleep," replied Sasuke. Naruto leant over the side of his mattress and saw his friend sleeping more or less _under_ his bed, only his pale feet and left arm were visible. Sasuke was so weird.

"Were the bed bugs good company?" Naruto asked teasingly, swinging his legs over and stretching.

"Very," was the solemn response he received. Shrugging, the blonde sidestepped the pseudo-awake Uchiha and made his way to the washroom.

Halfway through his teeth-brushing session, Naruto noticed the smell of scrambled eggs wafting in and smiled. The one plus side to Sasuke's seemingly-permanent residence in his apartment were the fresh-cooked meals the dark-haired boy prepared around the clock. If Naruto promised to wash the dishes, Sasuke could even be persuaded to make ramen.

Finishing up his morning routine, Naruto flounced on into his kitchen. "It smells great!" he said happily, sitting down in front of a heaped pile of eggs, hash browns and onigiri. Sasuke hmmed in acknowledgement and added some salt to the eggs he was still stirring. He had learned, over the years, that although Naruto loved ramen, the rest of his tastes gravitated towards milder, ready-made foods. He himself, however, always tried to include something traditionally Japanese in his cooking, thus the odd menues.

Naruto bounced around in his seat until Sasuke's plate was also filled and he had taken a seat beside him. Grinning, he pressed his hands together, said thanks and tucked in to his food, ignorant to the soft smile tugging at the corners of his companion's lips.

After pouring them both a glass of orange juice, Naruto placed his hands on his hips and frowned. "You know, if Tsunade's really serious, and she's rarely _not _serious, then that means we have time off today."

"Technically," Sasuke thought aloud, swirling his juice around in his glass, "We have time off indeterminably. Who knows how long they'll take to decide their stupid answer?"

The two finished their drinks as slowly as possible, not really sure what to do afterwards. They could probably train, but the two subconsciously realized that walking into a training ground full of high-ranking ninja currently obsessed with their private lives was probably _not _the smartest choice.

"You know, we haven't just _hung out _in a while..." tried Naruto, scratching the back of his neck. "We could watch some action flicks and order in take-out?"

Sasuke was stunned into speechlessness.

Naruto's face briefly fell and he started rubbing his arm and looking away," W-Well, unless you want to go home and like... do stuff... alone... without me... WHICH IS FINE TOO. I don't NEED you to stay here but-"

"Okay."

"Huh?"

"I'll stay and watch movies with you but no take-out, I'll cook."

"Cool! I mean... cool."

"...Usuratonkachi, don't try to act cool, it doesn't suit you."

Naruto pouted. Putting on a ridiculously low voice he stood on his tiptoes and said, "Well, of course not. The great Ice Prince Seme, Sasuke, has spoken and us peasants must comply."

Sasuke flushed and rushed off to Naruto's pile of CDs and movies. "First of all, you need to sort this crap out and secondly, now that you _know _what that terminology means, why would you _use _it?!"

"I don't know! To get a rise out of you?"

"Well now you've aroused me, congratu-fucking-lations!"

"I didn't m-mean to _a-arouse_ you, you giant perv!"

"What? Oh come off of it, not _that _kind of arouse!"

"What other kind of arouse is there?!"

"How about you shut the fuck up or I'll put on _A Walk to Remember_ again and won't let you cuddle me."

"IT WAS _ONE TIME!" _

"MORE LIKE ONE _HUNDRED _TIMES, YOU LOSER."

Naruto blushed darkly but was determined to say something back to the taunting Uchiha. "Well, then why did you let me, huh? You could have pushed me away or stopped the movie or told me to get lost but you didn't-"

"N-Naruto, wait-" Sasuke interjected hotly, sensing that Naruto was going to take this conversation into a direction that neither of them were ready for.

Naruto, however, steamrolled right on through, taking small steps into Sasuke's personal spacce.

"-But you didn't! You didn't do anything. You let me snuggle right into your stupid shirt and you _hugged me right back, don't think I forgot_, touching my hair all gently and pulling me into your lap. Now, what does _that _say about _you? _HMMM?!"

Sasuke could think of a number of things that those actions said about him (did he really try and bring Naruto into his _lap? _Was he insane?) and he has willing to entertain none of them. He shut his eyes as though physically trying to force the weird eyes from his head as the two ninjas faced off at an uncomfortable close distance. Naruto didn't seem to notice that he was inhaling the other's exhales and Sasuke was backed up against the T.V. and couldn't move at all.

"...I can explain," explained Sasuke, putting his hands up in innocence. He just hoped the dobe hadn't put two and two together already.

"Then say it!" said Naruto, wondering why he suddenly felt warm thinking of the other's long fingers carding through his own hair.

"Well, it gets very cold in the evenings and you're really warm... So, being near you is just a survival tactic," he finished lamely.

Naruto folded his arms over his chest and squinted, "says the boy who can literally _breathe fire_!"

Sasuke, recognizing an escape, schooled his face into as neutral a facade as possible and said"...I'll keep that in mind, next time."

Naruto tsked and rolled his eyes. "Whatever. It's not like _I _mind but if _you _do, then I'll just seek comfort in Kakashi sensei's arms."

"Just try it and see what I'll do," growled Sasuke, his sharingan forming instantly as his body crackled with chackra.

"PLUSHIE Kakashi sensei's arm! Ero-Sasuke!"

"Oh," the Uchiha murmured quietly, eyes fading into black. Naruto rolled his eyes again, the movement looking odd on his usually happy-go-lucky face, and went back to his sofa.

"But it's not my fault you omit the most important details."

"And it's not my fault that you don't ask for clarification and jump to pervy conclusions."

"...Oh shut up!" groaned Sasuke, flopping onto the sofa as well, sinking as deep into the soft material as he could with his dignity intact.

Naruto didn't notice but grinned at his victory in his latest verbal spat with the Uchiha. Siddling right on up to the slouchy Uchiha, Naruto wrapped himself around his left arm and pressed a few buttons on his remote.

"Oh, I checked out the first season of _Attack on Titan _a while back, you want to marathon it?" he asked, completely forgetting about what they had just been arguing about.

"Hn," grumbled out Sasuke, in neither agreement or disagreement, as he wondered what exactly was going on between him and Naruto.

All through the first two episodes, while Naruto threw things at the ugly titans and screeched his opinions at the main characters, Sasuke pondered their relationship.

It was only when Naruto paused the show and grabbed his chin that Sasuke was broken out of his thoughts.

"You know," said the blonde, twisting his face this way and that, "You kind of look like Mikasa."

"Isn't that the girl?" questioned Sasuke as Naruto tilted his head down towards his neck and jolting it suddenly to the left.

"Yeah."

"Fantastic."

"Better than looking like a titan."

"Looking like _you _would be better than looking like a titan, Naruto."

"Hey!" cried Naruto, releasing his chin and orienting himself sideways so he could face Sasuke better. "I'll have you know," he said, "That Sakura told me that I my looks improved the most since childhood!"

"That isn't necessarily a compliment..."

"...Damn, you're right."

Naruto sighed and shook his head fondly before twisting to grab the remote to un-pause the video.

"...Say, you don't still like... _like_ Sakura, do you?" asked Sasuke, hoping he sounded less nervous then he felt.

"No, I don't," the blond answered slowly, eyeing Sasuke suspiciously all the while. "Why, do _you?" _he sounded scandalized.

"Of course not!," Sasuke scoffed, "Just wondering. You used to be so hung up on her and now you're not but I didn't know if you were just being more subtle or if you had moved on or what."

"Well, I have. Moved on, that is."

"Good."

"Very."

There was a moment of silence until Naruto whispered into Sasuke's ear, "And you were just frigid to begin with, ne?"

Sasuke flushed and pinned Naruto to the hand-rest of the sofa. "Stop using sexual words in non-sexual contexts! Do you even know what you sound like?" he said, voice laced with frustration.

"But I learned so many new words and I want to show them off!" whined Naruto, trying to wiggle his way out of the other's hold.

"Then get into a sexual situation and use them then!" screamed Sasuke, pushing harder against the squirming limbs.

Naruto flushed and rolled them onto the floor and reversed their positions so that he could pin Sasuke's arms down. "Do you even know what you sound like?" he screamed right back.

And suddenly the two boys were in a deadlock staring competition, breathing heavily and with no idea as to when this all began (although they both knew it was far before the incident at the mission desk), what was currently happening , how they ended up like this, why they ended up like this and where they were going to move from there.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: _**_So a couple of my friends had told me to watch SNK and I finally did. The show was really intense, well structured and the artwork is really nice but I'm not sure if I'll carry on watching it. (I mean, damn, there has been like zero comic relief as of yet and since I'm a complete loser, I really need some stupid puns/jokes/sarcastic comment or _something_ in my shows). Anyways, I hope you like the chapter and were pleased by my ~speediness~ Please review!_

_Love, K.M._


	5. First Time

_**A/N:** I'm a terrible author and I would hate myself immensely if I were my own reader. Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry for being a disappointment. You need not forgive me, but I have brought you the gift of an m-rated, super long SasukeXNaruto chapter in the hopes that we can re-kindle the flame that once shone bright between us. Sincerely, The most Loserly Loser who ever Loser-ed._

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><p><span><strong>Who's On Top?<strong>

"The mission desk is absolutely frantic! Jonins are walking out with three or four scrolls, genin teams that graduated two weeks ago are working C-rank missions back-to-back and civilians are waving around huge stacks of bills, screaming out for ninja help!" called Temari as she wrapped a bandage around her left leg with her left hand and signed off on a mission's report with her right. "Where are all our support ninja!?"

"I don't know, you're the one who's dating the Konoha Ambassador!" cried a hysteric sounding voice from inside the special weapons supply closet across the room.

"Kankuro, nobody's talking to you!" Temari screamed back. "I'm talking to Gaara! Gaara?

"I sent a sand clone yesterday evening," answered the muffled, voice of the Kazekage from behind the skyscrapers of paper work that covered every square inch of his office. "It has been given orders to dispel itself only after bringing at least twenty-five mid-to-high ranking ninja back into the country."

Temari grunted in acknowledgement as Kankuro peered his head of the closet.

"I don't know, bro, I still think Temari should at least _ask _Shikamaru. I mean what else is he good for then?"

"I don't know, bro, why don't you shut the fuck up forever before I beat you?"

"Oh, _very_ creative."

Gaara paused in his work to sigh deeply. He had re-assigned his usual secretarial assistants to the mission desk, as they needed more help there, and his siblings had decided to 'help' him here. So far, Kankuro had re-organized the weapons closet that didn't need re-organization and Temari had blown several stacks of paper over in her efforts to dry the fresh ink signatures faster.

He prayed for his clone to return quickly.

"Fuck you, you ugly hag! I'd rather stay single for life than be with someone like your useless, boring boyfriend!"

Gaara wasn't even a little surprised when his desk was blown over by chakra-filled wind.

* * *

><p>The Konoha boys stared intensely at each other from their awkward position until Naruto broke the silence with an awkward cough.<p>

"So uh, now what?" he asked, moving a hand to scratch the back of his neck.

"Well for starters, you could get off of me," came the Uchiha's bored sounding reply. The sudden, tense energy that had sprung up between the two had dissipated as soon Naruto spoke and Sasuke wanted to bang his head against a wall - he had been so sure Naruto was going to lean forward and just _kiss_ him already.

Naruto didn't get off of Sasuke. Instead he crossed his legs and wiggled around a bit to get comfortable, as though preparing for a long talking session."No, I meant between the two of us. There's a thing between us. We need to do something about the thing."

Sasuke felt that head-against-wall-banging desire resurface. Whenever he and Naruto got to talking about anything (let alone feelings) it took hours and they ended up nowhere - or even _more _confused and angry than they started what with their mutually poor verbal communication skills.

"Well for starters, you could get off of me," Sasuke repeated, deciding then and there to be as blunt as possible.

Naruto pouted and interrupted, "Sasuke!" he whined.

"-so I can kiss you."

"Huh!?"

"You're right, for once. There is 'a thing' between us but it'll be easier to explore what it is through our actions than our words. If kissing doesn't feel right then we can talk it out, but right now I can't find the words to describe what I'm... what we're... ugh, _this._"

"Hm. Just like with our fighting. I always understand you best on the field, right?"

"Yeah... Hopefully, we'll understand each other like that, here."

Naruto smiled brilliantly, and Sasuke couldn't help but grin alongside him.

"Let's do it!"

Naruto uncrossed his legs and positioned them on either side of Sasuke's hips. He intertwined the fingers of his right hand with Sasuke's left and moved his own left hand to grip the other's dark blue hair. He lowered his lips just as Sasuke encircled Naruto's waist with his free hand.

Just before their lips touched, Sasuke whispered, "Close your eyes."

Naruto doesn't even bother trying ask why but obeys instinctively, trustingly.

When he finally feels the softness of the other's lips against his own, his entire body feels electrified and he sees bright white sparks explode beneath his eyelids. He wants to open his eyes but he can't because there's something hot and foreign and tense growing deep inside him that's traveling everywhere - down his legs, his arms, and it makes his eyelids squeeze shut.

His skin feels sensitive where he can feel Sasuke's warmth around him and his heart pounds furiously against his chest. He realizes, somewhere in the back of his mind, that there was no way he could pretend that this - _whatever_ this was - never happened. It felt too perfect. He curls his hands at the base of Sasuke's neck and parts his lips against his mouth, eager to move forward with all of his typical drive, passion and consequences-be-damned determination.

Sasuke parts his lips immediately after Naruto, responding in kind with licks and sucks, gaining his way into the other's mouth. Naruto's lips are chapped and insistent but yielding and perfectly slotted against his. It takes all of his willpower not to groan aloud once their tongues finally meet and begin to move together. It's sensuous and hot and he can't help but slip his hand under Naruto's jacket and shirt to run it down the side of his body. Running his tongue along the rooftop of the other's mouth, Sasuke relishes in the tiny shivers and soft moans that his touch illicits. He inhales sharply when Naruto pulls apart from him, hypnotized by the sight of his blown-open pupils and red, bruised lips. Chest still heaving with pants, Naruto quickly sheds both his jacket and shirt before standing up and extending a hand downward. Sasuke takes a moment to stare up at the most amazing boy ever created until Naruto grins his most charming, eye-crinkling smile and waves his hand in front of him.

After accepting the help up, Sasuke immediately pulls Naruto's body flush against his own, liking the way their upright position meant that every inch of their fronts touched. He presses their lips together, kissing him hard and intensely, unable to hold back his groan when Naruto tilts his head just so and runs his tongue against the underside of his own. When Sasuke's mind is just beginning to catalogue the movements that make the blonde create those perfect, little sex noises, he feels warm, broad hands insistently lifting up his shirt. He pulls the garment off quickly and presses himself back against Naruto, hissing as their bare skin finally meets and Naruto lowers his head to kiss along his jaw and down his neck.

"Nhhn... N-Naruto," he manages to choke out, after Naruto latches onto a particularly sensitive area of skin just below his ear and sucks hard, teeth scraping gently. "Let's get to the bedroom."

"Sure," replies Naruto, lifting his head back up to rest their foreheads against each other, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's shoulders. He closes his eyes momentarily, moaning low at the feeling of Sasuke wrapping one arm around his waist and intertwining another in his messy hair, pulling hard at the strands so he could suck and bite at his pulse point. "Haahhh, let's get - _ah_ - going then?" he prompts, slightly surprised at his own enjoyment of the rough treatment but eager to explore some more.

Sasuke moves away from the other's skin reluctantly and nods his head quickly, he tugs on one of his friend's orange belt loops and drags him to the bedroom. They continue kissing and touching one another until they make their way on to the bed, with Naruto resting against the small headboard and Sasuke kneeling over him.

Breaking away from a particularly heated kiss, Naruto can't help but blurt out, "So... How _exactly _are we going to manage this?"

Sasuke manages to look confused, exasperated and amused all at once. "What's wrong with what we were doing just now?" he retorts, sliding one hand up and down the other's torso, stopping several times to tease his favorite sensitive spots.

"N-Nothing! I meant like, who's going to top?" Naruto explains in a tight voice, wishing he hadn't spoken up in the first place. It's not like they were going to go all the way on the very same day as their first kiss. He blushes at the surprised look on Sasuke's face and looks away.

"We can both 'top,' I guess," Sasuke says, tilting the other's chin right back up. "Neither of us has ever done any of this sort of stuff before... We can take our time and explore what we both like."

"You mean we don't have to be just one thing?"

"I don't see why not... And even if it _is _the norm for each person to be set in a specific role in a relationship, since when does the norm ever apply to us?"

"You're right! Let's do what feels right and take our time."

"Mhm."

And with that, the two boys fell back into a passionate rhythm of kissing and touching, both of their bodies heating up fast. Before long, they had stripped each other naked and were lying side by side on Naruto's small mattress. The blonde couldn't stop grinning and running his hands through Sasuke's messy, tousled hair and Sasuke was having a hard time pulling himself away from the addictive taste of Naruto's mouth to go any further.

Summoning up all his strength, he moved away from Naruto and intertwined their hands together. "Okay," he started, struggling hard to find the words to convey what he wanted to say in the least perverted way possible, "We don't have to, and I don't want to force you to do anything you're, - I mean we're, not ready for... But do you want to try-"

"Sasuke, I've been dying to cum for the past ten minutes and I'm going to die if you make me hold out any longer and really it's your fault for groping my inner thighs like that, I'm sensitive," declared Naruto, entirely ignoring Sasuke's roundabout question. He wrapped Sasuke's hand around his hard length before moving to wrap his own hand around Sasuke's.

"So, I want to jerk you off while you fist my cock," he summarized succinctly.

"Oh God, Naruto, you can't just say things like that" growled Sasuke, feeling impossibly aroused at Naruto's straight-forward dirty talk. He leaned in to kiss his perfect blond lover senseless as the two boys stroked themselves in unison, getting closer and closer to the brink. Sasuke then pushed Naruto's hand away from him, and wrapped his hand around both of their lengths, fisting them together at a harsh pace, not caring to be gentle when they were both so-

"AHH, Ah, ah_, ah!_ Sasuke!" Naruto cried, burying his face in Sasuke's shoulder as he came, breathless and amazed. He wrapped one of his hands over Sasuke's own still moving hand and pressed down harder, trying to ride out each wave of his orgasm and push Sasuke into his climax.

The Uchiha finally bit down on his lip as he was came hard, trembling and euphoric, all over their joint hands. Panting hard, he threw his clean arm over his eyes and tried to categorize every sensation he felt coming down from his high. Naruto let out a slow whistle just as Sasuke's heart returned to a normal pace, and Sasue reached down to draw Naruto's garishly patterned sheets over their tired bodies. Sasuke was exhausted, physically and emotionally, and wanted nothing more to relax or maybe cuddle up and slee-

"Do you want to go again?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** Ironically enough, I think I update better during the school year. During vacation times I get too distracted with nothing. Anyways, I hope you lovelies have been doing well and have enjoyed the latest chapter (this story will be finishing shortly)! Drop me a review if you have any comments/questions and I'll see you sometime next week. Muah! - K.M._


	6. The Kazekage's Woe

_**A/N: **Soooo. It may or may not have been a whole year since I updates but here's a new chapter? If you are one of my old readers and want to kill me or a new reader wondering if you should get out of the whirlwind that is my update schedule, I won't even judge. Still, forever aiming to please my lovely readers hope you enjoy this extra long chapter. This story will be finished in exactly one more chapter ~ Muah, K.M._

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><p><strong>Who's On Top?<strong>

"Are you insane? It's been three minutes!" cried Sasuke, voice muffled from the pillow he had buried himself into.

"Three minutes too long, if you ask me," ventured Naruto, trailing one feather-light finger down the other's spine. Though the blonde felt tiny shivers, Sasuke made no response for quite some time.

Slowly, a suspicious dark eye peered out from under black hair, narrowing at the entirely too-alert face of one Naruto Uzumaki., "What are you, a rabbit or something? You need to calm your hormones."

"Or maybe you need Viagra, old man!"

With a groan that certainly would be more suited to someone several decades older than him, Sasuke, turned to face away from Naruto and towards the adjacent window. "First off, I'm going to go ahead and say you're to one who needs medication if you're refractory period is ten seconds. Plus, I'm only two months older than you, dobe," he retorted, with no clear argument in mind.

"And apparently those two months," continued Naruto, ignoring the first part of his rival's words in favour of a quick insult at the other's expense, "Mean that you can't get it up! How ever are you going to keep up with my young, vigorous sexuality?"

Wiping a hand down his scowling face, Sasuke finally turned around and observed his partner. The giggling blonde was currently sitting cross-legged on his pillow, right in front of his face, with one hand propped under his grinning face, and the other one loosely wrapped around his throbbing, erect-

"I cannot BELIEVE this shit!" Sasuke automatically yelled, shoving the boy onto the floor. However, before he could get a word in edgewise about how wrong it was to _jerkoff right beside someone's head just as they were waking up, a mere THREE MINUTES after-_

"YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO **_BELIEEEEEEVE IT, DATTEBAYOOOOOO_**~"

Sasuke heard crows cawing in the distance; startled, no doubt, by the sounds of Naruto's gigantic bellow. Their voices sounded like laughter. Mocking laughter. But he wasn't mad. Not really, at least, because the littlest Uchiha knew that he had walked _right_ into that one and deserved it.

Face-palming and heading off to the bathroom, Sasuke stepped right over the young man who was quite literally, rolling on the floor laughing.

"Give me five minutes and I'll show you vigorous, Naruto..." he said darkly, glancing over his shoulder with swirling red, Sharingan eyes.

Naruto's gulp was audible even through the pattering sound of the running shower and Sasuke felt himself giggling in spite of himself.

* * *

><p>If Gaara wasn't Gaara, then Naruto and Sasuke may have been able to detect a foreign chakra presence hovering right outside their window in time to save their <em>modesty.<em> However, since Gaara was Gaara, and Gaara's clone was also Gaara, he was able to expertly avoid being detected as he peeped into his friend's bedroom activities.

Pressing his already thin lips even tighter together, he choked down any sound of expression he wanted to make and simply observed the scene before him as calmly and rationally as possible.

Gaara's clone had been on his merry way to the Hokage's office when he heard a murder of crows begin to caw in the most peculiar fashion some few hundred metres away from his position. Recognizing that that region also contained the humble abode where his friend Naruto resided, the Kazekage's clone decided to check in with the boisterous man before he continued his journey to the Hokage's tower.

'This visit has nothing to do with the small, harmless crush that Temari thinks that I have on this impossible man, it is only for checking on his safety and well-being,' clone-Gaara had repeated to himself, trying hard to school his face into a mask of pleasant calmness.

When he heard the object of his affection,_ excuse me_, attention, panting and huffing strenuously in the back of the house, it was with pure, honest-to-God concern that Gaara scampered around to the blonde's bedroom window, cloaked his chakra and hid behind a tree.

'If Naruto is in any... distress, as he sounds to be, I wouldn't want to further alarm him by surprising him with a visit, better just assess the situation from out here,' he internally mused, nodding slightly at how convincing his rationalizations were.

Positioning himself for maximum view and optimal invisibility, Gaara looked into Naruto's bedroom with the advanced stealth of a Kazekage on a mission (or the advanced stealth of someone who had done this quite often before).

It turns out that Naruto was not in any 'distress,' in the typical sense of the word, but he sure as hell wasn't relaxed, either.

The young man was lying flat on his back with his arms hooked around his knees, holding them up towards his own chest. His bare skin was covered with a thin sheen of sweat and a dusky pink flush. His beautiful, blue eyes were screwed shut in exertion and his hair was a messy disarray from his constant tossing and turning against his pillow. His pants were coming faster and harder from kiss-bruised lips.

Now that he was closer to the bedroom, he could also hear a different, second sound through the thin window pane.

Gaara felt his already shallow breathing hitch in his dry, dry throat.

The wet, wet sounds of a certain dark-haired individual slurping and sucking between Naruto's spread legs was all too clear to Gaara ears as he found himself angling for a look of the two lovers. Just as Gaara began running through a list of all the pale, dark-haired people Naruto knew, the man seized his actions, straightened himself up, wiped the back of his hand over his mouth, and _smirked._

Gaara would have rolled his eyes if he wasn't so busy staring.

Sasuke's sharingan glinted in the low evening sunlight as he roved his eyes down Naruto's quivering body. "You know you taste pretty good despite all of the crap you eat," he teased.

Naruto, still busy catching his breath to say anything, kicked his shoulder. Not enough to dislodge him from his position but enough to send a message.

"I haven't even put my fingers in you yet, but you're still so vocal..." Gaara trailed his eyes down to where Sasuke's hand was still moving beneath Naruto's body.

"Or maybe," Naruto finally managed, through gritted teeth, "I'm so vocal because you've rubbing against the rim of my ass for half an hour and I'm sensitive! Just shove 'em in already! Would you have liked it if I had done this when I blew you in the shower?"

Sasuke scowled at the memory.

He had been so ready to get on the bed and show Naruto that he could do more than keep up with his horny self when the dobe had simply barged in to the shower, fully naked, and started making out with him.

"I couldn't wait any longer!" Naruto had whined, inbetween pressing hot, kisses and bites against his neck. "You can't just promise me things like that and then take your own _sweet_ time getting ready to deliver!"

Sasuke, in his defence, just couldn't find it in him to argue with that logic when Naruto pressed one of his thighs right into his crotch and ground against it.

By the time the blonde had sunk down to his knees, grabbed his hips firmly in his hands and began pressing open-mouthed kisses against the head of his cock, Sasuke waved any plan he had in mind good-bye and focused on not thrusting against the beautiful man so graciously sucking him down. Before long, Naruto had thrown one of his pale legs over his shoulder and started deep-throating him in earnest. Sasuke had come right down Naruto's throat (with an uncontrollable scream no less), when the other began massaging his ass in a firm, warm grip.

Sasuke coughed as inconspicuously as he could and shook himself out of his reverie. Though Naruto didn't notice the action, Gaara sure as hell did and was hard-pressed not to snort aloud.

Still, Sasuke obliged him anyway. His hand stopped moving and drew back, only to press forward again with two pale fingers worming their way inside of Naruto.

"Since you're so eager..." Sasuke whispered, grinning wide when Naruto arched off the bed and let out a string of curses. He moved his head back down and engulfed Naruto's curved, erect cock between his lips once again, this time, moving his fingers in tandem.

It didn't look like Naruto was going to last much longer but he seemed to try anyway; clutching the damp bedsheets beneath him and groaning hard. And when Naruto choked out a soft, "Sasuke, please," and threw his head back one last time, Sasuke made sure to swallow and suck on Naruto's length and give his fingers a hard, audible twist inside his lover. Naruto screamed out something unintelligible as he came but Sasuke looked like he understood him anyway, letting him ride out his climax with a few more licks and thrusts.

Naruto came down from his climax languorously, eyes fluttering open, limbs re-orienting themselves slow and steady with the world's widest smile burning bright and sincere the whole time.

"You're doing it again," Sasuke said suddenly.

Gaara shook his head twice. He was so focused on Naruto that he didn't realize Sasuke had cleaned up, brought out a fresh bed sheet and was slouching on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry," Naruto said, not looking sorry at all. "I can't help it!"

Sasuke sighed and fell backwards on the mattress, arms flopping on either side of him. "It's fine, I guess. But if you show it to anyone else, and they come mooning after you, this is fair warning that I'm going to kill them, mercilessly"

"Sasuke, I can't just _not _smile!" Naruto smiled, "And nobody falls in love with a simple smile!"

"Oh but it's not just any dobe-smile, dobe. I'm talking about _that one_," Sasuke said, pointing towards Naruto's still-smiling face. "The one with the dewy, soft crinkled eyes, and the quirk of your lips and your cute little flush and _mmph_!"

Naruto had tackled Sasuke to the floor and was kissing him too sweetly for Gaara to bare. So the sand ninja tried to straighten out his expression, clear his blush and proceed on his merry (and slightly aroused) way towards the Hokage tower.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** Gaara is bae and you can't tell me otherwise. LOL. Leave me a review with your thoughts on the story, a rant on how much you hate the word 'bae' or which other Naruto couple you wouldn't mind peeping in on :P Hope you enjoyed!~ & Don't forget, one more chapter till we're complete, so keep your eyes peeled! XOXO - K.M.  
><em>


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